I am two pounds away from weighing my lightest in ten years. Counting my calories, with clear implications that the more I snack the further I’ll travel away from my goals, has especially helped me burn off that weight. Does that weight loss necessarily correlate with my long-term fitness goals? Let’s return to 873 days ago. That’s when I first considered why I wanted to write about health and fitness: so I can better enjoy life.
“We plan on keeping on going.” Positive affirmations like this can go a long way. There are times when life is hard and you might be ready to give up. Using your time and energy to give back to people and communities can bring you more than it seems. Shedding the parts of ourselves that we might feel insecure about and focusing on the positives of others or ourselves can make any obstacle worth overcoming.
“Likely anything that is quiet and not going to have a lot of downward vibration should be fine.” It’s been 52 days since I last rowed. My rower is a great piece of machinery, it’s just too loud. My community gym is a good option, it’s just in a location that’s not convenient for going there then going somewhere else. An ideal option would be somewhere I can row at 4AM and 8PM without vibrating concerns.
I’ve made many friends throughout my life, and lost seemingly many more. Making friends is easy. The way I’ve found most effective is to approach someone with a compliment over something that they have added to themselves; a compliment on a shirt. Other times, making jokes will do, and other times, still, just by association. How about splintering friendships? Growing up, they were always aggressive psychological assaults. Until recently, they faded due to proxemically-inconvenient inevitabilities.
Even while watching a movie, it’s always there. The noise of self-doubt echoes louder than most lines in movies, the self-loathing permeates into every conversation, and what self-assurance is mucked by an overwhelming sense of artificiality. Neon colors can’t cover it. There are moments when I can get distracted from the past or future and focus on something nice, but otherwise, it’s a constant that I cannot escape from. Let’s explore that darkness at length.
Lifting each of these 10- to 15-pound boxes up today reminded me of when it used to be easier to move boxes. My muscles have atrophied. Just slightly, but enough to notice. My bones crack more. I feel lazier. Now that my job has stabilized, I’ll soon to be ready to get back into rowing, whether it’s at the company gym, the community gym, or acquiring a new, quiet home rower. I’m getting the rowing itch.
Now that I’m tracking my calories, I can add objective data points to my subjective observations surrounding my comprehensive health. On days with limited stress, I am not that hungry. My hunger pangs are more of a reaction to stress than any malnourishment. Looking over my calorie charts, the spikes correlate to stressful days where I was “hungrier.” This should help me assess my anxiety levels quicker to properly lubricate and clean my mind’s gears.
I’ve had this belt throughout my entire professional career. It experienced my 60-pounds-in-6-months weight loss, where I cut out another rung. It experienced me gaining 67 pounds from that zenith of fitness. It is now experiencing me comfortably tighten it daily- unless the day’s stress is too overwhelming for me to consider its simple fitness reminder.
Insidiousness creeps in quicker than I realize. I could be having a nice, calm day when something causes me to enjoy less of about reality. I get more impatient. I care less about my surroundings and what happens. I can usually notice this reckless behavior after I have exhibited trace behaviors that might not even be noticeable for most. That’s when I have to face myself in the mirror most and face down this beast:
“If you cannot measure it, you cannot change it!” For years, I just casually monitored my calorie intake, and did decently… until recently. Investing the time in learning how to work with numbers in spreadsheets, even rudimentarily like tracking calories, has paid off substantially for me. Seeing objective examples is helping me understand my subjective reality. Once I start rowing again, we’ll see more substantial changes, although these spreadsheets are also reminders to be careful.