Before I realized what I had walked through in the library, my head was already dizzy, and I remained light-headed for hours. Cannabis may be decriminalized and legal in Washington state, it’s just the worst of those who indulge do so at everyone else’s expense. They’ll openly carry and everyone just seems to look the other way. I’m sick of having other people screw up my brain because they feel entitled! What happened to decency?
Isn’t it boring that the English alphabet only has 26 letters? Isn’t it boring that rowing only has 4 positions? The more often I row and write, the more often I think hitting a solid rowing catch, drive, finish, or recovery position can compare with hitting a solid word choice, sentence execution, provocative thought, or decisive document. Is it boring that one letter can change everything or not hitting the right position can ruin your rowing flow?
I suppressed most of this memory for years. The second-to-last (hopefully) time I smoked cannabis was in my bathroom, after a few intense months of overconsumption, where I had a brief experience I could not comprehend or properly explain until now. I heard five distinct conversations. No one else was there, windows closed, and I wasn’t playing music. That hallucinatory moment was like hearing the audio from some crowded café and left after that hit…
I’ve been steadily getting heavier after I stopped rowing heavier 5 minute rowing sets. Starting in late March, I weighed 267. Using only the fortnightly titles, here’s how my weight progressed: 260, 256, 255, 254, 253, 252, 251, 249, 247, 250, 246, 248, 250, and I weighed in at 253 pounds on Tuesday morning. Now that I have exacting data showing that I need to burn more calories, or consume less calories, I can use that information to make the necessary changes for my fitness. Fortunately, it isn’t all doom below.
Would you consume something once if it took 6 months to get back to normal? What if everyone said it were harmless? They can use it without issue. They might have a sluggish morning after, then they’re off to a normal day. You, alternatively, get completely messed up to where you’re never quite right. The next few days suck, the next few weeks are weird, and the next few months are awkward. Would you try again?
“They have one of those in the back.” Most gyms have rowing machines. It’s just they’re hidden in plain sight because they’re not glamorous devices. Running is sexy. Rowing is… not. One treadmiller had rested his backpack on the sole rower at this one gym, and when I motioned that I wanted to use it, while courteous, he seemed surprised that someone was going to use it. See, I don’t like rowing being my secret.
“Don’t burn out again on binging.” My ideal days are spent holed up at home. I might row or clean, otherwise, I’m the most content at my computer the whole day. Years ago, I’d indulge a little throughout the day, and find myself numb by the end of the day, having accomplished nothing. In this first of an occasional series, written during those days, let’s dig into this in more detail. Hi, I’m an addict.
It starts small. I’ve been eating more and exercising less. I started including a second scoop of peanut butter in my oatmeal, so now I have a one scoop limit. I’m planning to row for longer sets again. I’ve been ordering the healthier items on menus, and now intend to be more picky with removing the unhealthier bits; I didn’t eat the mayo-drenched shredded lettuce and bun on a fish sandwich this evening, for example.
I gained 5.7 pounds since last week. How is that even possible?! It was probably stress, decreased exercise, overeating, and general malaise over the last few days. That regresses my progress at least a month or so and probably isn’t healthy. Fortunately, the weight’s dropped off a little since yesterday, so it probably won’t last too long. Just goes to show quickly this health thing can change. At least I’ve made good progress in some areas.
You constantly face adversity when you exercise. Adversaries include: feeling like it, not giving your best effort, and exercising itself. Exercising hurts, even with properly stretching and practicing good form. Yet when my rowing machine teaches me figurative exercises in overcoming physical and mental adversities, in a controlled environment where I can stop exercising whenever it becomes too overwhelming, I can use these exercises to break free from old molds that don’t fit me anymore.