How will “The Story” progress in 2021? My health is the major variable that will tell whether or not I’ll make significant progress toward writing “Novel 02” to then build up the writing practice to write “The Story.” If my health continues to decline as it has, then 2021 will be another year where I work in the background toward writing “The Story.” That’s fine. But if my health improves, 2021 is where I’ll make more outward, substantial progress.
Spoilers?: Minor [figuring out plans]
If my health declines as it has, then, I have no major plans for “The Story.”
On days like today, where I had a MRI of more of my spine to figure out why I’m still in continual pain and why everything I’ve done has only led to further pain, I haven’t had the energy to write or think much about “The Story.” I did think about how Trishna gets around. She is an ambulatory wheelchair user, which means she can stand and even walk for limited distances, but doing so excessively will lead to injury. Her wheelchair may have a built-in cane holder, or even two. The inspiration for this has been my own life, where, were it for better living conditions – not being on a second-floor apartment, and living with others that could help me more often – I would be using a wheelchair to navigate around both inside and outside, as prescribed by my doctor. Since I don’t have the ability to do that, I push myself to exhaustion and pain by walking on two canes.
Trishna wouldn’t have that sort of bad luck.
I draw inspiration from my life to write “The Story,” but the events of “The Story” I believe are ultimately their own. Trishna, as I wrote years ago, revealed herself to be a wheelchair user, which prompted me to study how that would be like, and though that research gave me an adequate understanding, it wasn’t until this past year’s health issue that’s prevented me from doing much other than living in extreme pain that I’ve been able to understand her perspective more. I wouldn’t call it method acting/writing. It’s a nice coincidence, and certainly will help me write “The Story” more realistically, but I don’t think my suffering was required to write “The Story” to the degree it needed to be – but hey, I’ll never know that timeline where my spine didn’t break in the way it did and has, so I’ll never know if research alone would have helped.
But let’s say I get better.
If I become the luckiest human being to have ever lived, as I’ve written before, by having my health restored – and I mean that mostly sarcastically, though with the bad luck I’ve had with non-empathetic doctors I’ve met lately, I’m not being entirely arrogant by saying that – then I want to put more effort into planning my writing. I’ve had a note on my computer for a few days now: “1000-word essays daily versus 500-word essays twice daily?” On the drive home from the MRI place, I realized I enjoy the stretch of 501 to 1000 words the most in the writing process. This process that we’re in right now is where my thoughts get a chance to stretch their legs and go wild. It’s where I feel the most able to articulate my thoughts, so, for the first few months of 2021 I will have the same 7am and 7pm essays, but then after a point, I switched over to 11am essays, and that’s where I’ll remain.
I don’t want to write so much that it becomes dreadful.
Today, I spent most of my free time watching videos. It’s not a great thing to admit, but that’s the easiest form of entertainment for me. I was able to pull away from that to write this essay, but I don’t feel like I have the energy to write tomorrow’s essay, which will be the last of the “year’s end” essays. After that essay, I’ll return to publishing essays further into the future. What I’d like to do is juggle more activities in life. I’d like to watch videos, play videogames, read, write, and do whatever else I feel like with the time I have. That time will be restricted once I return to work, and as I’ve seen here, although I have near unlimited time to write during my long-term disability, I haven’t been well enough to write through most of that time.
In some way, you have to be sufficiently physically healthy to write fiction.
Essays like this are easy to write for me because they are meandries on my life. I don’t need to concentrate much on whether Trishna’s cane is located on her right side or left, the logistics behind a scene, and whether that scene even has any sort of merit to it. I can change the writing flow slightly to adjust to sensations I’m feeling – before the start of this sentence, my tailbone erupted with major pain sensations. I don’t have the energy to think much more about fiction at the moment.
If I did, I think I’ll be doing more Minecraft-style planning, as I’ve done for Novel 02.
Being able to have a visual location where I can dump architectural thoughts is a great start to being able to write fiction more regularly. I want to do the same for character designs. I’ve done some drawings in the past, but doing so in a more structured environment might be good. Maybe I’ll livestream character drawings, as I’ve livestreamed those Minecraft builds? That might be a way to balance more of my hobbies, like drawing and even playing videogames, without pushing too much in one direction to the point of burn-out. I don’t feel burned out in the sense of having written too much, more I feel like my physical health is so poor that I can’t do much more than what I can.
Right now, the most I can do is what I wrote here.
|Sources: The Story’s Imaginarium.|
|Inspirations: Just writing about my thoughts as they relate more to the hurdles I face toward getting better so I can write fiction more often.|
|Related: Essays building “The Story.”|
|Written On: 2020 December 30 [9:30pm to 9:53pm]|
|Last Edited: 2020 December 30 [First draft; final draft for the Internet.]|