I’m publishing this essay around the start of the Year Of The Ox, February 12, and with a question. How much does the Chinese New Year relate with “The Story?” Not much and not directly. Not in a rude way, but throughout my meandering thoughts about the relationship between John and Trishna, throughout my time mentally and physically building their world, my thoughts have been on what I need to construct to argue for positive change.
Spoilers?: Minor [inspiration from reality]
When I write stories within “The Story,” it’s using fiction to tell facts.
The stories I want to tell are stories of overcoming adversities. Today, as I took the 50-minute walk of 500 feet on my two canes, walking at a pace that could be best described as zombie-like, stopping every 5 minutes or a stone’s throw to let my spine not cry out in its worst pain yet, I thought about a scene late into “The Story.” It seems like the natural progression of things, and it has no real overarching narrative spoilings, so why not write about it here?
Plus, I don’t know if anyone’s going to read this before reading “The Story.”
There’s a lot of material to parse through on my website and reading a novel is not an easy task. I don’t read, but the major contributor to that is that I am unable to concentrate long enough on any particular passive topic without my spine flaring up. I can’t reliably do anything that requires me to focus significantly on some sort of grand narrative like a novel. I can livestream and I can build things in Minecraft, but that’s because it’s an environment where I feel comfortable because I’ve built it based on all of these thoughts that keep on popping up into my head.
That scene was late into “The Story,” I could imagine.
It’s part of the same general series of events that I’ve written about here repeatedly over the past month. Perhaps this is my mind’s way of coming to terms with the amount of pain I’m in, where my eyes will tear and my nose will run as ways to throw the emergency switch of reality into gear to tell me to not walk so fast, to not push myself, but the problem is that this is the best physical therapy option I have available to me. The last place I went to was like a fast food joint for sports medicine. One of the physical therapists at that place treated my therapy like a Crossfit session.
So, yes, I’m burning myself out permanently by going, but it’s happening either way.
These are the sorts of stories that I want to tell. After John and Trishna graduate and get married, I imagine that John proposed right around the time they entered college with the plans to marry after graduating, they proceed to live a nice and happy life until Trishna’s spine flares up in a particularly bad way. She was born with spine problems but hadn’t experienced anything that bad since she was a child. John is supportive of Trishna because she and her family brought him from a terrible situation and took him in. They took care of him at his roughest point.
And besides, they’d been friends for probably 15 years by that point?
As my mind was trying to do whatever it could to help me press on, my eyes tearing up the disposable mask I wore in because my physical health is in such a compromised condition that if I caught COVID I most surely would be killed by it, this scene came to my mind: Trishna told John that he could leave her to go find someone that was healthier. John refused. He offered the sort of reassuring words that one does when they hear something terrible. John told Trishna that he owed her his life enough times over the years to where maybe she stopped believing it. Maybe she took it for granted?
She heard it again and maybe that helped her or maybe it helped me.
I bring that up because these are the sorts of stories I want to tell, of characters overcoming adversity in their lives, whether it’s the personal struggle of coming to terms with terrible health as I continue to do with my condition continuing to deteriorate despite my best efforts, or Trishna’s, where, in “The Story” even with far more sympathetic than I’ve had the misfortune to encounter, it’s still difficult for her to get the treatment she needs to get better… and with these stories, the bad guys are often the people that stand in the way of treatment.
Ideas like New Year’s traditions are nice for background consideration.
Rather than refer to these sorts of traditions as Chinese or Korean, I would change the name to something different, so it implies a sort of difference in perspective. When I wrote “Novel 01,” instead of writing about characters being from Japan, I threw in some toilet humor and went with Fapan. Offensive? Maybe. I think it’s funny. Not everything has to be super serious in all regards. Weaving those thoughts through and through is what’s important to me, and for this new year, if my health ever gets to a point where I could walk from a parking lot to somewhere 500 feet away in what might be considered a normal walking pace, well, I’ve blasted all the bullshit in life away already.
The past few months have been the worst months of my life – physically.
Mentally, it’s been a space where I’ve been able to refine my resolve to a laser focus. Even through this pain, which continues to be more and more awful by the day, I feel more inspired and ready to build and write. I have nothing brighter in life than that. Maybe in that scene, it wasn’t Trishna that John was talking to, but me, or maybe that’s all just my imagination?
It’s hard to say sometimes.
|Sources: The Story’s Imaginarium.|
|Inspirations: Guess I just wanted to write about my life.|
|Related: Essays building “The Story.”|
|Written On: 2021 January 04 [10:02pm to 10:30pm]|
|Last Edited: 2021 January 04 [First draft; final draft for the Internet.]|