[Downsizing Zeal] 59: Obvious Observation: Expenses

This is an obvious observation, paraphrasing Sherlock Holmes [inspired by a new tie], but I can’t keep buying ties without sources of income. Typically a source of income would be a full-time job, or, I could buy and sell things, or, hopefully, sell my literature and/or video production as I’m doing with this essay without “selling out.” The thing is, however, I like exploring and I find funneling my addictive tendencies positively helps me significantly.

I can justify these three ties but additional ties will require more legwork.

For these three ties, as I explained in the video that I’m recording while writing this essay, the inspiration behind getting out to get these ties was to overcome the last of the negativity I was feeling surrounding quitting my previous job. The amount of energy it took for me to get to the point of being so fed up as to quit was the topic of multiple videos I’ve recorded in my past week or two, uploaded in scattered points throughout the few weeks for you, and led to bella and I talking about this astrologically in a talkshow/podcast we did my-today that basically concludes the totality and the roughest aspects of the notion of quitting what seemed like a good job on the surface, but ended up being a terrible job in reality.

We’ll go slightly out of order for this next paragraph.

I feel like I can start the process of moving on with my next job because I’ve gone through my mourning period. This was a period of me luxuriating with a number of thrift store adventures, concluding with the purchases of more ties than I had on average recently, but, I feel like it was justified well enough as they would mostly be ties I would want to wear in the future. I also feel “back” because I just received a cold contact message on LinkedIn, not sponsored, from a recruiter about a potential job. This job prospect has a low likelihood of being successful for the sole reason of the recruiter not starting off with the name of the client, the pay, or the job description, but, we’ll find out if the job is any good my-tomorrow or your past? Your future?

I feel now, going back to my tie collecting adventures, that I can be tame.

I have now 32 ties, which means that for any given work month, if I go into the next office for five days a week, it will take me… over six weeks of wearing a unique tie every day before I wear a duplicate. That includes some ties that I don’t want to wear except for special occasions, and this new job is remote so there’d be no need to wear ties except for professional meetings maybe once a whenever, so, the prospect of buying more ties seems now to be just the sort of addictive behavior I have toward anything, where, I guess I just like learning about the details of clothing and fashion through these little harmless strips of materialism and capitalism.

Especially since I need to work until I die, what’s the harm in being presentable?

Quotes or Sources: None
Inspirations: My personal experiences. Previous episodes: first and second
Related: Other Downsizing, Moving, and/or Selling Zeal essays. Playlist.
Picture: Video thumbnail
Written On: 2023 August 13 [8:17pm to 8:29pm]
Last Edited: 2023 August 13 [First draft; final draft for the Internet.]


My big goal is writing. My most important goal is writing "The Story." All other goals should work toward that central goal. My proudest moment is the most recent time I overcame some fear, which should have been today. I'm a better zombie than I was yesterday. I'm not better than you and you're not better than me. Let's strive to be better every day.