The office looked just the same as it did a year ago and looked just like any other office, almost. The lights were centrally focused around us as we talked, him across the table in a powerful pose and me sitting uncomfortably defensive, and the corners were darker than they should have been. “I see. That makes sense. If only you had conveyed that better. I recommend having actionables after every meeting. Something to show-“
My alarm went off.
I hadn’t had a dream as vivid in a while. Maybe my 30-minute rowing set on my new rower dislodged that which prevented me from reaching that deep place? At the intersection of memories and dreams, we often miss the little side street that can inch us closer to our ambitions. We choose to forget our memories, sacrifice our dreams, and ignore our ambitions.
It’s easier living a humdrum lifestyle.
The alarm started my work week. The night before I wasn’t really feeling like starting the week, so the dream set me in the right direction. I write daily because otherwise a day I didn’t write was a day I wasted. Even when I’m exhausted, I write, because that will help me practice writing the more ambitious content I want to produce. For the next few months, I will continue my voyage toward clearing out the storage room of the apartment-mansion.
These essays are like actionables from that.
For seasoned downsizers that have moved many times and already learned what I am learning, these next few months will seem trivial. I am writing about these experiences so that I can act quicker in my real life. I hoarded as much as I did until recently because I thought they were all actionables – items which showed I had done something, or will do something.
Now I know that was a waste.
Still, each object needs to be acted upon, whether I write about them individually or collectively, so I can put them to rest in my subconscious. It’s not out of regret or dread. Rather, I want my focus to be on the bigger things. I would prefer that subconscious figure had instead told me deeper meanings of reality, how to overcome my weaknesses, and how to become a better person.
I guess it did, in a way.
We keep souvenirs as symbols of accomplishment or as evidence of success. As we grow, do we grow out of these achievements? I enjoy remembering how certain essays I’ve written have inspired people. I don’t have many physical representations of those events, so if they did or did not happen is less a concern as to whether I acted upon those good thoughts. The more often we accept complements and integrate that positivity into our future selves, the more we grow toward the selves we might want to become. Isn’t that the best sort of actionable item? Repeat the success that brought positivity?
We should then downsize everything that isn’t actionable toward our success.
|Sources: Besides my dream?|
|Inspirations: I know I’m retreading old ground here, but the point is that for as long as I’m not “over” this whole downsizing thing, my subconscious will be submerged in it. This is why I can’t focus on writing fiction. My mind is flooded with thoughts related to other things. I don’t like how the word purge sounds in this situation, but I must purge that which won’t help me write from my mind.|
|Related: Other Downsizing Zeal essays.|
|Picture: Drawn from 3:16AM to 3:24AM on the 19th, this was intended to recreate the dream scene somewhat.|
|Written On: July 18th [25 minutes, mobile]|
|Last Edited: July 19th [Other than adding a word that my mobile program missed in its 500-word count? First draft; final draft for the Internet.]|