Everyone wants to find their meaning in life. What happens when you do? The first moment is a beautiful sense of relief. The next moment is wondering: How do I even get there? If I want to write “The Story,” then I have to learn how to write it. I have to develop writing and observational skills. I also have to downsize everything that could prevent me from attaining that goal. That isn’t so beautiful…
…and yet it’s the most beautiful thing of all.
While I may still dabble in countless hobbies, I won’t have to worry about taking them so seriously, at least not to the point I would for the vocation I stumbled into that has sustained my lifestyle for all these years or for the avocation I am compelled to turn into my vocation. Any sort of vacation, hobby, or otherwise should be either an exercise in relaxation or skill-building in some regard toward writing “The Story.”
Even now, I waste plenty of time on things that don’t matter.
I’ve logged out of my Facebook account on my primary smartphone. YouTube is another timewaster that I’ve spent years trying to ween off and have made progress toward by unsubscribing from at least three to five channels a week, specifically anything that doesn’t help me expand my views of the world or provide some kind of auditorial version of a written piece I might want to read.
What a time to be alive, though!
We live in such an age of abundance that we can chase after weird dreams. We can sacrifice the collections or works of over thirty years of work because we realize that they ring hollow for us, and that which rings true is just over the next hill. I can publish this sort of writing practice nonsense online daily. I don’t have to battle against editors or publishers to feel that I’ve “added” my works to the public lexicon.
This, of course, means less time on hobbies.
I’ve been wanting to play some videogames or watch some anime for a while. I am behind schedule right now. I still have to row and bathe before I can go to bed. If I’m not careful, I’ll burn myself out for the workweek ahead, so I’m writing this with vigor.
What happens when I become a successful author?
I will follow this guiding light through the tunnel of reality toward the next prize. I will write “The Story,” its cast of characters, scenarios, and all else, under whatever name it becomes whenever it is right. Until then, I need to prepare my physical space and mental space for it by not indulging in short-term gains that forego this long-term goal. If I could earn $10 more per hour working a job where I wouldn’t be able to write as easily, would it be worth it? Why would I want that? That’d be good for some career vocation without any application.
This writing avocation rings truer than true.
|Quotes: “What a time to be alive” is a thought that pops into my mind frequently and comes from Clutch’s “How To Shake Hands,” but I won’t consider it a quote.|
|Sources: My personal and professional experiences.|
|Inspirations: Talking with people that haven’t yet found “their thing,” I think the biggest thing is that the bigger the passion, the more craze you feel. I am OK with giving up quite a lot to achieve these writing goals of mine. Just today, I didn’t watch anime, play videogames, or hang out with friends, like I could have, mainly because I was preparing for the workweek ahead, but also during this time I spent writing this essay and right now without any music, I am focused on completing this thought so I can publish it and forget it.|
|Related: Other Downsizing Zeal essays.|
|Photo: My reading list of writing learning materials. I know I keep photographing this but from different angles and different times.|
|Written On: August 14th [20 minutes; WordPress]|
|Last Edited: August 14th [First draft; final draft for the Internet.]|