I might actually be in the clear now to move into a one-bedroom apartment, having sacrificed my yearly outing to a concert festival for downsizing my storage room nicknamed “Zeal.” It’s such a relief knowing I will not be a slave to materialism, but the cost is giving up certain events like this over the next few months… I wasn’t really aching to go, but if my schedule were freer, I absolutely would have gone.
My downsizing momentum increases weekly.
Is it all the thrift store drop-offs? Is it all these essays summarizing my thoughts, tempering my resolve, and focusing my attention not on the small change I could earn selling junk but on the bigger dollars I could earn selling literature? Is it my growing dissatisfaction with having so much of my money going toward storing things that don’t even interest me?
No. It’s my increased interest in doing more.
My childhood was spent in the safety of my home, playing videogames or browsing websites, because the bullies were more abstract and beatable. I could level up my dudes/dudettes/dudetceteras until I could beat the enemies in these games that I couldn’t quite understand how to beat in real life. Now I realize the trick to overcoming difficult situations is just letting the crazies find their next target. Don’t be vulnerable. Increase your physical fitness, decrease your concern over the thoughts of others about you, and live your life as you want to live it.
I’m now more comfortable going out casually.
I’m still not at the point completely where I suggested in the previous paragraph, however, compared to a year or two ago, I’m much more comfortable in my own skin. The people that bother me, those that creep into my mind palace like Mr. X once did, still get in, it’s just now their tenancy is shorter and the rent is higher, so I can evict them quicker.
That’s all to say I want to explore reality more.
I’ve been packing boxes into my trunk for thrift store runs frequently now and the things I’ve been donating have all broadly fallen under the category of exploratory experiments I would need to conduct at home. Home should be a place to recuperate and relax with favorites or new items to explore. It shouldn’t take up all of your time and be your primary hobby unless you either enjoy a life entertaining guests or entertaining solace.
I like the thrill of the occasional adventure.
In my current lifestyle, I like doing adventurous things on my days away from work and processing those memories before, after, or sometimes during work. I know that if I had gone to that festival, I would have had fun, but my mind would have been exploring the inefficiencies of Zeal’s storage arrangements. I wouldn’t have fully been there in the heat, sun, fun, and music, lost in it. I would have been mentally adventuring through Zeal.
Until one adventure is complete, you can’t start another.
|Sources: My personal experiences.|
|Inspirations: I saw a posting about the concert festival I missed out on, which made me think about what I did instead of going to the show. Although the overall premise here is not exactly accurate – since technically I stayed home, wrote Thirty-Three Years Old, and later went minigolfing on that specific day – the idea, which is kind of at the root of writing and literature, is that analogies like this can be loose. We don’t have to have a scientific 1=1. I can argue that clearing out a small chunk of a storage room is an adventure just like going to a concert is an adventure. Both were weekend adventures, so to speak. The thing is, too, I write all these as abstract examples. There are literal objects at times, but my Object X could equate out to your Object Y.|
|Related: Other Downsizing Zeal essays, and hey, check out some Thrift Store Adventure things, too.|
|Photo: Since I didn’t attend the concert festival, I used a photo from a Gogol Bordello show since it was the most recent concert I attended, as of August 3rd, 2019. I do have a number of upcoming concerts on my calendar. This is just a better example of the sort of show where I bought tickets on day one – not just because the Neptune tends to sell out – but because I enjoy their music. The festival was kinda like a debate on whether I should go. I don’t debate on whether I can go to see bands like Gogol Bordello, rather, I debate how much I need to do to go. Here, it was just clear my schedule for the next day.|
|Written On: August 2nd [24 minutes, mobile]|
|Last Edited: August 3rd [Minor edits while digitypesetting, otherwise, first draft; final draft for the Internet.]|